JOURNAL ENTRY ONE
My journal. My journal. My journal.
This is my journal. Yes. I have decided to start writing a journal of some sorts — to record my thoughts and get some insight into the very many complexities of my mind. There’s so much going on inside my head, and I believe that writing would be a good way to get my thoughts, ideas, philosophies and opinions in some linear form. Also, it will be nice to have a reference of some sorts, something I can turn to when I need some inspiration, epiphany or even something to read, for fun.
So here is my journal. I expect it to be a wild trip.
This is the first time I’ll be doing anything of the sorts. I’ve written a lot before — scripts, essays, tweets — but I’ve never gotten to write out my mind; my feelings, emotions, and aspirations. The idea is to write concerning a particular topic or just put pen on paper and let my heart speak, and I’m happy I’m good at doing both quite well.
“Do I have to introduce myself?”
Well, here goes…
My name is Chimgozirim Emmanuel Obinna. Yessir, that’s me. One and only to ever do it like I can. I have gone by a wide range of names/monikers over the years — “Gheezer”, “Mahnuell”, “Emmy Thrillz”, “Kodak Black”, “Emma”, “Seven”, and now “Gozirimuu”, and maybe a lot more to come. If I’m asked to list the reason why I’ve gone by so many names, I would say that it’s in a bid to fill in a void.
What void?
Well, a void of names. See, I was raised in Yorubaland, and had so many Yoruba friends, and these friends had a host of names, as is normal with Yoruba culture. And then there was me, an Igbo bloke with just three names — some of my friends had about eight names on average. So I think psychologically, on a subconscious level, I have tried to fill this void of names by going by so many different names over time. Some of my names like Gheezer, Emmy Thrillz, Mahnuell, (cringest set of names, lol) have come because I was trying to get the perfect social media name. One that would be cool to see and say. But obviously, I failed at that.
I took up the name Emma when I moved with my family to Port Harcourt and I was looking for a name that would be easier to pronounce and not get abused like my friends and everyone else in Ibadan had. (See, Nigerians generally have a problem of pronouncing names from other cultures wrongly, but the Yorubas, these guys take it to another level. There’s no iteration or version of my names I never heard during my time there — “Chimosirim” for “Chimgozirim”, “Opener” for “Obinna”, “Gostiri” for “Gozirim”, etc. The list is quite endless.)
So when we moved to Port Harcourt, in a bid to avoid that happening, I decided to go by Emma or Emmanuel. And this went well for a couple of years, all was rosy and gay. But one day I realized that the name Emma is a very popular one here in this city, like you could legit stand in the middle of Rumuokoro junction on a sunny day and shout “Emma!” and a thousand heads would turn in answer. That is how saturated the name is, I guess everyone just wanted to have a son who would bear the name of the Messiah –my mom included, obviously. This presented a likkle problem…
For the name “Kodak Black”, I took this up in the year 2016 A.D. when I stumbled on Kodak Black, the rapper –his two songs “SKRT” and “No Flocking” were the best thing to happen to me that year. I just loved the fuck out of it, and I wanted to tell everyone about this new rapper named Kodak Black, so much that I went ahead and changed my name on Facebook to “Kodak Black”. Some of my friends started calling me “Kodak Black” or “Kodak” and it has stuck. Looking back on it, I’m very proud that I got to discover Kodak Black early on in his career, and I got to preach his gospel. I am really proud of myself for this.
As for the name “Seven” …whew! Okay, so back in 2019 I saw this movie “The Hate You Give” starring Amanda Seyfried starring in it and one of the characters –her brother in the movie — was named “Seven”. I remember hearing it for the first time and I was like “Damn, wow. Seven, really?” That’s cool. Really cool. And it stuck with me. I fell in love with the word Seven right there and then. So much that I got drawn to the number 7 every time. It became my lucky number and I remember every time I would go to the bet-shop to play Virtual Football, every time I chose the number 7 it never failed me. Every outcome played on game 7 always came through. And so I believe that & might actually be my lucky number, just like it is for a billion other people out there, lol. At this point it wasn’t even a name, just a thing.
Fast forward to 2020 A.D., and I’m looking and making plans to start my brand. I needed to call it something, something nice and simple yet catchy –something that makes whoever sees it go…”Whuttt?!”. So I drew up a few options for the brand name but I wasn’t feeling any of them, they were good but not that good, you know.
I remember writing the word “Seven” a lot of times on the notepad I was with, and then the most notably random thing popped into my head, and it’s this little riddle we used to ask each other as kids:
Riddle: “Why was 6 afraid of 7?”
Answer: “Because 7 ate 9.”
Hmm, 7 ate 9. 789. Seven, eight, nine. Seven8nine. Hmm, okay. We have something.
I wrote that a couple of times and it looked cool, but I still felt it needed some extra amount of panache. So I flipped the word “nine” into the German word “nein” which thanks to the inventors of the language had the same pronunciation.
Eureka! I had found my brand name: Seven8nein.
So off I go to social media (of course) and I changed my username to Seven8nein because I wanted to take control and acquire the name before anyone else. Well, to my surprise, someone else had already thought of that long before me –some dude from Brazil (it’s always them Brazilians, isn’t it?), but who cares? May the best man win. Let’s see who trademarks the name first. Or maybe we may do a fight to the death over who owns the name, that wouldn’t be bad. I think it will be noble.
I also love the fact that it has the number 8 smack right in the middle of the name. I was born on June 8 so there’s that. Plus, I also have some form of affinity to the spider god Anansi –I think he is the coolest African god and I hope someday to worship him in truth and in spirit. You know, 8 legs for a spider and shit so there’s some depth in there…
The “nein” is more like a filler cuz you know, it would be weird if it was just “Seven8”, I mean, that would be so bland. Plus I think the “nein” part stands out the most from the name. It is the coolest part of it. Nine, but “nein” in German…
So my friends who are also friends with me on Instagram dig it and started calling me “Seven”, and they still do till this very day. In total honestu, Seven8nein is nothing but my brand name, but if the shoe fits, of course I would wear it proudly. I’m not going to be square and correct everyone who called me “Seven” or “Seven8nein”, so that’s that…
For “Gozirimuu”…Gozirimuu is my name name. Like it is directly the short form of my Igbo name “Chimgozirim” minus the “Chim” with a double U added behind for effect.
So in 2021, in the spirit of self-acceptance and self-love mixed with a bit of IDGAF-ness, I realized that my name is my name and you know, it is what it is. My parents weren’t tripping when they named me “Chimgozirim”. It’s a really beautiful name. It means “My God — not your God, or his God, or some God — has blessed me”. I mean, what could be better than that. That’s some power right there and I should work in that.
Fuck what the Yorubas think, lol.
So I decided that man, fucket, my name is Gozirim and that’s the coolest thing to ever happen to me. And to be honest, it sure is. The more I used it, the more powerful and at peace with myself I felt. I think that was the first step in this journey of self-acceptance I’m on (to be discussed in later entries…)
So “Gozirim” it is. But I felt it still needed a bit more pizzaz to it, you know I’m stylish like that. I remember my dad calls me “Gozirimuu” as a pet name –he always has over the years from when I was little but I didn’t really fuck with it that much because I felt that it was too corny. Silly me. But self-acceptance worked its magic and I found it really cool you know, when I got to dissect the meaning behind the name “Gozirimuu”.
It means “My Gozirim”!
The old man had been endearing me to his heart the whole time and I didn’t even know it, sheesh. Things we do when we’re young and stupid, right? Now I have seen the light, it is actually a beautiful name, Gozirimuu and I have accepted it. Gozirimuu it is.
Well, this still didn’t solve the problem of people seeing it as hard to pronounce (some even say it sounds like something from out of an anime which I think is cool) but whatever. It is what it is. Gozirimuu is what you shall call me, cuz in the end I am your Gozirim. I dey for you always and forever.
Looking back, I think the many names have worked to my advantage, somehow. For example, I can tell from what time period someone knew me or where they know me from or through whom –which is great for my short term memory, lol. Like if you call me “Kodak”, I know you knew me from 2016 or I know you know me through someone who knows me from2016.
So there goes my introduction, this is me, from the perspective of my names. I think names give a sort of insight into one’s character –in a way. Sort of how we know that if a girl’s named Precious she go worry you, or if a boy is named Miracle him go always dey rough.
All in all, I’ve always looked for the one name that means me, and the whole time I had that right under my nose. Funny how what we look for is right with us in our arms, in our heads, in our hearts.
Wetin you run go find for Sokoto dey inside your shokoto…
This brings a close to my first ever journal entry. I really enjoyed this process of sitting and talking about myself to my number one audience –ME. And I think I will like to do this more often. I have a lot to talk about, lots to get off my chest and in future entries, I shall do so. But for now, I have to go and have a wonderful day. It looks really lovely outside and I hear the birds chirping through the earphones in my ear. What a miracle, this life.
I’m also quite hungry, I need to eat something, that’s the task ahead for me. Later I will have some fun again when I sit to write my script for my upcoming project. Something I call a “metamovie”. I know it’s going to be lit! and I can’t wait to find out. So for now, it’s adios…
Yours ever lovingly,
Gozirimuu.
FINIS.